However, did you know it is a great source of humor. The hamstring. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Dirty Movie: Directed by Jerry Daigle, Christopher Meloni. "I was pulled over while driving home from the gym. Sometimes being able to laugh at it can make all of that a little bit easier. 66. The 50 Worst Songs By Otherwise Great Artists - Pingovox What is Cardi B called when shes running on the treadmill? What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?Diddly squat. (Closed), I Am A Dog Photographer And I Love Taking Photos Of Cute Puppies Before They Grow Up (33 New Pics), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics). Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym? 76. Cardi O. Why didn't anyone say happy birthday to the owl? 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022) - Livin3 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022) by Jessica Simms Jan 29, 2022 in Jokes 3 Everybody loves jokes, and if you're on this site you also love getting a good workout. Some priests started a bodybuilding group. The Best Coffee Jokes: Funny Coffee Jokes and Coffee Puns - Reader's Digest Now I know why someone called YOU handsome. Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night. Joke 2: [at the gym] Me: what does this machine do? I cried at the gym today because the elevator was broken Seven bodybuilders have been found dead in a gym.Police are on the look for the mass murderer. Here are some Dirty Gym Pick Up Lines! Im so glad I stopped bench pressing. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. Nauru, Tonga and Samoa. 37. . You likewise love getting proper exercise. What do you call Elon Musk when hes been to the gym a lot? Whats it called when you refuse to do core workouts? Gross. The only "training" that is offered by the staff is completely machine-centric. It's called Jehovah's Fitness. 35. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Like, if you have that pumpkin spiced latte, you might as well get down and do 367 burpees.". I did 15 "I want to start running twenty four-hour gyms. Guess I cant go back to the gym until its healed! ", "The only exercise I have done this month is running out of money. 2: The added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio. As he saw the two empty kegs in the back he said "those don't look like two light beers!" A gymnastium, 75. The only thing we care about is gettin' girls & going to the gym. *watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally Your email address will not be published. nap. Your email address will not be published. There are a lot of dir.. jokes. He thought it was a bit of a stretch.". dirty gym jokestibetan quartz metaphysical propertiestibetan quartz metaphysical properties A bodybuilder once died of a protein overdose. After years of hard work in the gym as a personal Why doesnt the fisherman go to the gym?He pulled a mussel. Because you can get it in before your brain wakes up and realizes what its doing! My uncle is 'The Black Mamba.' ", "I just saw real a real idiot at the gym. A British man made a New Years resolution to lose some weight, so the next day he signed up for a gym membership. slowly being chased by no one. Everything seems much easier and more pleasant if you can have a good laugh about it. Why didnt the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course? "I once knocked a guy off his bike Ive since been banned from that gym.". The owners couldnt seem to get the bugs out. 55. The girl is lying on the bed and the hunk starts to strip off. 57 Gym Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workout (2022) - Livin3 45. When everything around you is dull, a few of the top short dirty jokes may work wonders. Why did the cheese go to the gym? Thats the The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. A gymnast walks into a barShe gets a two-point deduction and loses the gold. 20. Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym?They wanted to become jacked-o-lanterns. Whether youre in between sets, warming up, or you finished your workout, read the funniest gym jokes to get a good laugh. At the gym Me: (sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose 24. "This workout is intense," he huffs. So before you talk yourself into your next workout or if you genuinely enjoy fitness and exercise, I suggest you take a look at the jokes we collected for this article. 1. Wow, that took a natural weight off my chest. 8. What kind of gym do Christians like to go to? I asked a girl to go to the gym with me for our first date, and she didn't show up. That awkward moment running near a friends house when "I started using this new machine at the gym. Everyone inside is exorcising. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? I'm keeping mentally active. "Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.Jack: "I've deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife. "My heart is pounding.""Eh?" One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. He said, Knock yourself out!. She lived there with her family and their . You could have heard a portion of these previously, yet we trust youll become familiar with a couple of new ones to add to your exercise joke program. Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced? Each mile you run adds 1 minute to your life, so when you're 80 you can spend an extra 6 months in a nursing home at $10,000 per month. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Friends: 13 dirty jokes that we totally didn't understand - Digital Spy After they were done, they sat together in the locker room. 7! 39. 17. . Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership? What do you call an Astronaut that goes to the gym?Neil ArmStrong. "I wear black to the gym because its like a funeral for my fat.". He was a - "Is there a mirror in your pants? buddies that I had taken the bench press out of my workout schedule. going to exercise. Why didnt the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course? Cause you are about to have a mouth full of wood. 80+ Best Deez Nuts Jokes To Make Your Dirty Friends Laugh dirty gym jokes - zolucky.sale Because he always did a great job wiping down his equipment. Because no one can spot him. Dont Fart.Dont Fart.. 71. "No Why?" I guess we're not going to work out. It started out as a long-distance relationship. Everyone keeps telling him that hes ripped. The best gay jokes Two gay men decide to have a baby. ", "I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending. Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable?He was a muscle sprout. Why doesnt Waldo (from Wheres Waldo?) go to the gym? Taco dirty to me. This taco is Mexcellent! What do chickens work on in the gym? Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts over fake call-outs and other dirty tricks as veteran reptile wrangler claims rivals 'have it in' for him Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks The Adelaide veteran has had enough . Why is the gym the perfect place to find a partner? Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? 55 Really Funny Geometry Jokes And Puns | Laugh Away Now - Humoropedia.com Someone trainer I finally admitted I wasnt strong enough and quit. Please sign up with your best email address. A bicep-ual. ", "I dont hate leg day. Why did the man get arrested at the gym? He pulled a mussel. The only problem is Im British. "I asked a personal trainer Do you need to eat chicken to get muscles? He said No whey!". Recently signed up for a gym, even paid 3 months in Why can athletes lift more than prisoners? They've just been getting bad press. Somebody told him he was all cut up! You can read more about it and change your preferences. I called the local gym asking if they can train me to do These jokes about gyms are great guitar jokes for kids and adults. I dont hate leg day. 92. Top 20 Funny Deez Nuts Jokes For 2023 - Keep Laughing Forever - Funny You get to lay down between each one! Ive been going to the local gym to get pumped. Where do monkeys go to work out?The jungle gym. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. He was always pulling his leg. 43. Laugh more here: Funny Business Jokes To Share With Friends. 1. 99. 68. Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. A gymnast walks into a bar Why can athletes lift more than prisoners? "I heard Tiger Woods has been hitting the gym lately. So many different personalities and so many people inside the gym and outside the gym. lot? By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. With that in mind, check out the top 101 gym jokes. So, here are some jokes for seniors that'll brighten their day with some hearty chuckles. "Of course I have a 6 pack! (Eating carbs, comfortable footwear, being cheered. 16. It was a hostile taco-ver. And, of course, they're not mean-spirited. I invited my girlfriend to go to the gym with me and then, I didnt show up, I hope she gets the message that were not working out. When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats. 107 Funny Questions (and answers) The Ultimate List You Need. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Because everyone inside is exorcising. 1. Laundry puns are not as bad as everyone thinks they are. A wealthy man in his sixties walks into a gym and asks the personal trainer, What machine should I use if I want to impress a 25 year-old woman? The trainer looks him up and down and answers, Id recommend the ATM.. To get better buns. What do you have to give when you cancel your gym membership? ", "I always avoid the gym for the first 3 weeks of the year. Tomorrow, Im heading down there in person to find out whats going on. 57. ", "My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. Why did the personal trainer grab a new shirt? 41 Hilarious Dirty Jokes to Laugh Your Heart Out (NSFW) - Witty Companion Eligijus is trying to give his time to make best content for readers. Unfortunately, theyre normally paramedics. My father, when he is in the boxing gym, is 'Floyd Joy.' "It was a real pain canceling my gym membership They made me hand in a too weak notice.". I guess it's hard to tune in and know what's going onbecause there's about 10 storylines going at one time. What do you call someone whos attracted to anyone with big muscles? 150 Fitness Humor, Workout Jokes ideas - Pinterest 1: Why do you like going on night runs? The hamstring. Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym? How did the duck get into the gym? A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, What machine should I use to impress women?. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. I guess it just wasnt working out. Gym Jokes #79 - 70. A: No whey! Annoying Ma with Dirty Dad Jokes original sound - Ty James. Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life Our Hardest Riddles Ever The Law of Coffee If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to. Their pecks. Curls. After weeks of keeping it secret, I confessed to my gym 69. When Im not telling stories, youll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums. How do you find the gym at Hogwarts? The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. I was suspicious or my girlfriend cheating on me with Why couldnt the man trust his personal trainer? A girl saw her boyfriend flirting with other girls at the gym. yourself.' Just stopped in the middle of my run to pet a golden My muscles are aching! the blonde said. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Whats the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym? It was a real pain canceling my gym membership Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street? Did you hear about the marathon runners who got married? 54. A man moved into a new apartment and was telling his work-out buddy about it in the locker room. Leg day is important if you want to get a step up in life. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Masturbation always leads to sex. Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. So I asked him what the weather was going to 500 matching entries found. Dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty sucker. 100 Funny Birthday Jokes Hilarious Birthday One Liners - Woman's Day A man got hired as a personal trainer, but when he realized he wasnt qualified he had to put in his too weak notice. 9. I hope you're into yoga cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight. Why doesnt Waldo (from Wheres Waldo?) go to the gym? Why dont cows skip leg day? Why is it a good idea to do your workout in the morning? Whether youre searching for exercise center jokes, muscle head jokes, or an ideal weightlifting joke, we care for you! Which cereal puts in the most time at the gym? Where do obstetricians exercise?At the OB-GYM. What do you call Elon Musk when hes been to the gym a lot?Muskular. When done Fitness Jokes. What happens when Chuck Norris finishes his workout? ", "Im like a ninja at the gym. Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses? What did the Christian say to the ladies at the gym? Sense of Humor. A gym-nation. She responded swiftly, pointing outside the door, saying, The ATM, sir.. whole locker room; I was never comfortable taking off my clothes in front of On the TV show "The People Court" the guy below pulls off an absolute stunner of a "Deez Nuts" joke on the interviewer. Why didnt the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course? 18. For one, theyve fixed the vending machine. So i pick up her phone at night when shes enough to stuck my finger through. A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, What machine should I use to impress women? Unfortunately it landed on my big toe and broke it. These hilarious, clever, classic and witty one-liners will give anyone a good laugh! 2. Tap To Copy. Osama Bin I like going for runs at night because the added fear And of course, myself, I am leading the pack. How would you rate the quality of the article? Why did the bodybuilder keep changing his clothes? 82. What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster? Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. A: Why shouldnt you work out near a body of water? How do you call a gym thats dirty. Gym Jokes #49 - 40. On the other hand, different individuals might be searching for a more normal jolt of energy than caffeine. Why do impatient people hate going to the gym? Theyve got great muscle mass. Hes squatting. They have a lot of muscle mass. Jack: "Why so much? Your email address will not be published. Friend No. "No time for gym? If you are a fan of these "Deez Nuts" Jokes. I asked him to stand behind me on the track so I run faster.". He didnt. Can you imagine what 7 days without exercise would be like? The doctor said, Skip one meal every day, and youll lose at least 5 pounds in the next month. The blonde took his advice, and the doctor was shocked to find shed lost 20 pounds. We can taco-ver the phone. 9. "Its been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress! A chubby blonde went to the doctor and asked how she could lose weight. Your account is not active. What does a priest do when he goes to the gym?He exorcises. The gym environment can be quite dauntingespecially when you are just starting. [1]upjoke gym joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7912_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7912_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Jokes 4 Us Personal Trainer Jokes jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7912_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7912_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]gift our precious Top 50 Funny Gym Joke Ever jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7912_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7912_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); gift our precious Top 50 Funny Gym Joke Ever. 89 FUNNY Apple Jokes That Will Keep You Asking For More! Top 50 Funny Gym Jokes Ever Brighten up your day with the following Top 50 Funny Gym Jokes that will make you Laugh. Whats the best gift you can give to a gym addict? A cyclepath. Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable? In that spirit, we've rounded up our favorite fitness jokes. "My first week in the gym was great. He realized he was going nowhere fast. After all, laughing can burn calories too! Dirty jokes & true facts don't laugh challenge - YouTube Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym?He was destroying his calves. "I went to the gym to practice my comedy routine but nobody found it funny. An American is exercising in a gym. You can change your preferences. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! morning: maybe Ill just do a few sit-ups and call it a day. Gym Jokes #89 - 80. 94. 100+ Boyfriend Jokes That Are The Way To a Man's Heart - Ponly Showing search results for "Gym Dirty Jokes" sorted by relevance. 10. "I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but she never showed. Funny Jokes. "Sir, that's a bench." Me: perfect. I asked a personal trainer Do you need to eat eggs Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important!Good coffee and good music make everything better. 96. 101 Funny One-Liners Best One-Liner Jokes - Parade What's the difference between kinky and perverted? red)I cant see you anymoreI am not going to let you hurt me like this 150 Funny Adult Jokes - Hilarious Humor for Adults in 2023 - MemesBams 23 What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach? If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym? Because I see myself in them.". Everyone loves jokes and assuming youre on this site. Why dont you see many haunted gyms? Whats it called when a rapper goes to the gym for 20 But Im on my fourth car this year now. But in jest. Why teddy bears dont go to the gym?They dont wanna get ripped. A dad goes to a food truck and sees the menu: Burgers: $8 Fries: $4 Handj0bs: $20. His clients really got shredded. think I might have to go there and see what the hell is wrong. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping. How do you feel? Elton John found a baby rabbit at the gym the other day. Trainer: It was a sit up. Why do you have to wait while at the gym?Because you get buffer. ", "While at the gym a good looking woman approached me and asked me, have you tried skipping? I replied, like with a rope? She replied,no like skipping a meal.". If you thought muscle jokes were some kind of power jokes, think again, because what I actually meant here were literal muscles. The entrance is called Shredded Wheat. I asked a girl to go to the gym with me for our first date, and she didnt show up. Why isnt the personal trainer paying rent? I say before a 45 minute "I went to my local self defense gym and asked if I can take two classes today. Why did Charles Darwin start working out? 70. "The other said, "What for?". What is a bananas favorite gymnastic move?The splits! One hundred dollars. (New girl at the gym:) "Hi, I think you are new here, and I wanna be the first male to bother you." Are you a high jumper because u make my bar go up. 53. this guy from her gym. Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced? It's a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays. Come on push. I may not be the best-looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you. "Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room"Jack: "But I didn't use any of those! COPY. 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We know its challenging to keep up a gym schedule, remain sound, and get in shape. 9! Says another gym-goer, Do you even lift, bro? To which the gym junkie replied, Nah, I only lift odd, bro.. per visit, not a great deal. It started as a long-distance relationship. Why did satan open a gym? A man got hired as a personal trainer, but when he realized he wasnt qualified he had to put in his too weak notice. list through a windy parking lot before. Sit-ups are the best exercise because they include the By Hannah Jeon and Cameron Jenkins Updated: Oct 28, 2022 Hey there! But the deviation only runs from 32.1 to 26.4, with American men lying 11th with 28.5. Chuck Norris only works out once a year that's about all the gym equipment can take. ", "Ive been going to the gym for six weeks now and I have noticed some huge improvements. What does a personal trainer think before he shows a How did the brontosaurus feel after his workout? What did the superhero with a lisp say after going to the gym?Im Thor. Best gay jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 132 Gay jokes - page 10 mussel. It wanted to cheddar a couple of pounds. My local gym costs $120 for an entire year. Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? work out. Gym Jokes #39 - 30. The pirate said: Aye, I fought Red Beards crew and lost me hand.. 56. they think, wow, an athlete! but instead its probably more like, Aw, good 15. Hopefully even the ones that are familiar put a smile on your face. Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? So far I havent been busted. Me at night: Im getting up at 6am to run. What happened to the man who contemplated his future on the treadmill? 20. Your butt cheeks. ", "I went to the gym on my own Accord this morning. He didnt. Its called Jehovahs Fitness. "I joined a gym 6 months ago and still havent lost a pound. 3. Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps! We will not publish or share your email address in any way. sleepingand drive to this dudes place on the other side of the town and go What do you call a guy who loves working out? Why is it a good idea to do your workout in the morning? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. right you cant walk for days. Give it to me!" she yelled. "It would be great if menus listed burpee equivalents instead of calories. 2020 LIVIN3. The first one says Spot told him he was ripped. I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so thatll be a fun I always hope that when people see me outside running "While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. 47. It's your turn to spot me because I spotted you from across the room when you got in. He was hoping to get some capital gains. I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 21. What is a bananas favorite gymnastic move? Ideally, even the ones that are natural placed a grin all over. Hallowed be thy gains. 74. the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. You know the best part about being the only person at the gym that uses a speed bag?Theres no punchline. Why does the trainer at the gym have to keep getting new clothes? A mirror! I joined a gym 6 months ago and still havent lost a pound. 88. The interviewer is absolutely blind sighted by the hilarious joke! What kind of vegetable lifts weights? Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people. Did you hear about the banana gymnast? We respect your privacy. Find hilarious gym jokes, workout humor, funny fitness photos, running jokes, humorous fitness quotes, diet humor and healthy laughs. ", "Ive been squatting at the gym. the gym, its embarrassing. Refusing to go to the gym is a form of . Humour really helps tackle this. By 1983 he made a name for himself in Lone McQuade, which inspired his later. They're wiped out and you're shit out of luck. David Emis the founder of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. My zipper. Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car., 40. Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street? "While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. workout list. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. Exercise, because zombies will eat the slow ones first! I mean why would I take someone else's car? They asked, How flexible are you? I said, I cant make Mondays or Fridays.". 1. She gets a two-point deduction and loses the gold. 11. He never went once, but he still lost . The ATM.. 38. A gym junkie counts loudly in the gym as he does bench presses. Its good though, it does everything Girl, I heard your into fitness.. How about fitness dick in yo mouth I hope your into yoga, cause your going to get a good stretch tonight. Look for the dumbbell door. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. 5. 65 Dirty Adult Jokes to Text Your Partner Right Now Anne Frank went into hiding in a secret annexe of her father's business on 5 July 1942 - about a month after she received a diary for her 13th birthday. Wanna take the joke a little far? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship." 1. Just been to the gym and theres a new machine.